It is curious to observe how people only expect to get something in a relationship - be it a casual sex fling or something more lasting. Although lasting here is quite an overstatement. It is doomed to come to a quick (or a long and painful) end, if all you hope is to gratify yourself.
The secret to success, as always, lies on the surface. If both partners take care to learn and satify the other party's needs, then it will be a prefect symbiosis. For example, if in sex both partners work hard to give maximum pleasure to it all will be starry sky and fireworks. The opposite of it will end up in masturbation into a live person.
You also get to learn to much from learning about the other, whilst staying focussed just on yourself will get you nowhere.
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