Bush Concern Over High Oil Prices

"George W. Bush expressed concern over the rising oil prices." Now look at the picture to the left and watch the trademark smug smirk on Dubya's face.

The most likely dialogue that occurred there must be like this:

"George, this oil price hike is better than new-killer weapons!"
"Yeah, I can smell the billions pouring in, hehehe."

Two individuals who benefit the most from the oil prices having doubled in just a year, are only concerned if Iraq civil war keeps going on before the oil prices triple.

Finally Peace In The Middle East?

After decades of using the Palestine-Israeli conflict as a source of instability in the region - so that they can to pursue their goals in murky waters, all out of sudden Washington decides to put an end to it.

So, with Iraq, Afghanistan and possibly Iran on their hands, Uncle Sam finds it too much to handle. He is quickly losing ground in his own self-proclaimed backyard, South and Central America, where more benevolent European and even Japanese and Chinese business interests appear to have done much more good in a relatively short span than the US have done in more than a century.

Most likely, this time the Middle-East intervention will work. All the previous attempts were in fact a sham, meant to create a smoke screen to cover up actual American pursuits in the region. Uncle Sam is clearly out of breath and losing it.

The Perpetual War On Terrorism - Orwell's Prediction Comes True

Terrorism is surely a godsend for politicians around the world. The indefatigable and virtually indestructible enemy in the Orwellian "perpetual war". You can trick the public into accepting anything - from compulsory identification to banning mineral water and eye drops in your cabin luggage on airplanes.

In our living memory, it was the long-time favourites, the Soviets. They lasted nearly seven decades to help instil mass neuroses into Western public and keep them on the edge, slaving and consuming, ever afraid of the Red Threat. With the collapse of Communism came a period of soul-searching, when the Yellow Peril from Japan was succeeded by the Yellow Peril from China. Upon realizing that those two are too important as trade partners, there was a period. The world community's spin doctors were hiccuping. Then, all out of sudden, we were presented with a new enemy of choice - those evil Moslems - and by extension, from the dusty coffers of where the Crusades, anti-Turkish coalitions and Orientalism were dumped - came Islam, the new "ideology of evil".

This is a true godsend because it can be used interminably, the Orwellian ideal has finally been achieved. Finally, we have omnipresent ever-conniving adversaries that have infiltrated our own backyard. They are easy to spot, because of their beards, funny clothes and strange choice of in-flight meals, yet it is quite PC to peck on them as they are not Blacks or Asians.

And yet, as the actual reason of the so called North-South conflict (as opposed to the East-West confrontation in the Cold War) - the unequal distribution of wealth in the world - is here to stay, we have to be prepared for our new foe to be jerked out of spin doctors' box of tricks every time they powers that be need to pass an unpopular law or divert our attention from actual problems at home.

Dutch healthcare system

When you observe and analyse how the Dutch healthcare system works, you can't help but notice that it operates on principles of eugenics.

Up to 90% of patients are kept by their thuisartsen - G.P.'s - from attending a regular specialist doctor, often being told to go "have a sleep and drink water". Yearly physical check-ups are unheard of and the chances you will go through medical tests before being diagnosed are very low. In fact, the chances are more that you will be dismissed as a hypochondriac. When a 20-year-old Croatian female acquaintance of mine asked to be tested upon having had no menstruation cycles for many months despite being not pregnant, the doctor brushed her off, 'You Eastern Europeans really like getting tested too much!"

In my personal experience, I was refused treatment when after 3 weeks of having a bad cold I start coughing out blood - on the grounds that it's my tough luck that the cold stayed on for so long. I couldn't even get a cough syrup for "it's not good for my teeth".

In another case, I had to be rushed to a hospital's emergency room with an excruciating pain in my stomach - to be examined through a glass wall by the receptionist and told over the PA system that all the doctors are busy and I probably had nothing serious anyway.

Even if you manage to get through the hospital, there are the infamous wachtlijsten - waiting lists - that drive many to seek treatment across the border in Belgium.

It's easy to write this mentality off to the overly practical Calvinist mindset and the influence of Nazi camp doctors during Holland's lengthy German occupation. However, this is how it backfires: millions of people walk around with untreated colds, psoriasis and God knows what else. Visiting your local swimming pool is like a visual lesson on skin diseases and conditions.

The trump card of the long average life expectancy is like all statistics a big lie open to any kind of interpretation. It can be largely credited to the toughness and low-fat low-calorie diet of the generation who lived through the WW2 - a phenomenon observed in other countries too. We can only wait and see if this has been actually passed on to the next Dutch generations.

Koninginnedag - Wave Your Loyal Colours!

I could never understand the hoopla about the Queen's Day in Holland.

It boils down to throngs of bored farmers flocking to Asmterdam to get pissed on ridiculously overpriced Heineken while Amsterdammers try to peddle all kinds of fifth-hand crap on the streets in a sort of citywide junk sale. There are some miserly Dutch bands no one knows about playing here and there, but all in all it's about expensive booze, booze-inflated nationalism and MOUNTAINS of trash sold - or abandoned if unsold - in the streets. There're no carnival or floats or anything like that.

For lovely carnivals, head out south of the Maas where the Catholic folks live. They do have nice - colourful and meaningful - festivals there, just not in the North where the unhappy buttoned-up Calvinist spirit tries to have fun and stops one step short of it, inebriating itself out of guilt and fear of eternal damnation instead.

He Melts My Foolish Heart In Every Single Scene

Well, Noel Coward back in 1932 was not watching Strictly Comer Dancing but Matt Di Angelo could have just as well inspired these lines:

"...Mad about the boy
I know it's stupid to be mad about the boy
I'm so ashamed of it but must admit the sleepless nights I've had
About the boy

On the silverscreen
He melts my foolish heart in every single scene
Although I'm quite aware that here and there are traces of the cad
About the boy..."

Vegetarianism, A Sociopathic Food Disorder

What is veg(etari)anism all about? What is its ultimate objective? In my nine years of rabbit diet, I went through most forms of militant activism and dietary excesses so I feel quite qualified to make an analysis of psychological dynamics behind this highly popular movement.

No matter what drive brought a person to veg(etari)anism - pity for the animals, urge to save the planet or a health craze - the ultimate reward for limiting your choice of food is the holier-than-thou kick, the po-faced right to feel purer, more advanced, more environment-friendly and aware than the unenlightened masses. You, who take the rescue of this planet so more seriously than others, are so closer to rupture, your karma is so lighter, you are just about to break the cycle of rebirth and join the divine ranks of higher beings. Even if you don't aim that high, your are still healthier and so many years farther from an unsightly demise from obesity, heart disease and cancer than the "walking steak cemeteries" around you. There is even a name for this state of diet-based moral superiority, orthorexia.

"Kitchen spirituality" makes you spend inordinate amounts of time and effort searching for eco-food, macrobiotic TV dinners or locally produced food. No wonder this popular neurotic lifestyle gets huge high-fives from the food-processing industry and supermarket chains. Just when you thought the market could not expand any more, you can charge three times the regular price for "bio"-carrots or pesticide-free potatoes. What a godsend!

If you think about it, there is not much to feel superior about chewing veggie burgers made from genetically modified soya grown by underpaid Third World labour on land formerly occupied by rainforests but in most cases analysis does not go that far. It is all about the immediate kick of being different, exclusive and progressive. There are very few quicker ways of bloating your ego than adopting an extreme diet with a strong ideological base.

There are even gradations of initiation, a sort of a pecking order inside the cult. People who have not give up fish are called pesco-vegetarians and occupy the lowest rungs of the hierarchy. The less animal products you consume, the more moral authority you are allowed to assume. You need to quit eggs to get a promotion, letting go of dairy products gets you to the highest echelons of veganism. But it starts getting tricky here: if you do not eat, animal-derived things it is only logical you do not use anything animal-derived. It turns out evil capitalist industry manages to booby-trap about every single product on the market just to spite vegans: there is even gelatine (made from animal bones) in computer cables.

As if it were not enough, there are still ways to push the limits of sanctimony and dietary exclusivity. There are heated discussions whether eating honey is ethical: those who think it is not naturally stand taller than those who do. Go raw - meaning, no cooked food, just like our ape ancestors supposedly did. You can also develop compassion for trees and become a fruitarian. I am not making this up: as eating the whole plant of lettuce is equal to killing the poor creature, you are only allowed to eat fruit. True fruitarians wait until the fruit falls down so as to not hurt the tree. Once again, I am not making this up - I have personally met people whose life was guided by such rules.

If you thought you cannot get better than that, you are wrong. The ultimate role models for a seriously advanced diet-fascist are mythical or anecdotal (whichever you prefer) breatharians. There is not a single documented case of anyone who managed to survive on a diet of breath but every now and then there crop up people who buy into this New Age gobbledygook. All of them are either self-promoting crooks or dead now. That is weher you are suppoed to end up if you push your veg(etari)an agenda long and hard enough. Self-destruction or a life of lies in midst of media attention. How very dignified.

Devil Has Learnt New Disguises

Doesn't just mentioning the name George Bush send your stomach churning? Now it may become different. There's a very cute guy by that name, the middle P. making the whole difference.

This product of the justly infamous Bush family comes from a mixed marriage with a Mexican lady and is currently touted as the Republican Party's best tool to appeal to the Hispanic (and probably gay) electorate. More power! Not.

Gourmet Sperm Shakes - Healthy & Tasty Flavours

 

You don't need me to tell you about the benefits of consuming freshly wanked sperm: it's low-calorie, it's rich in protein, it's chockablock with complex amino acids, enzymes and vitamins.

But did you know that the flavour of your man juice is directly affected by the food you consume? You can change the taste of your cum simply by eating certain foods prior to having sex. Your man/woman won't want to spit it out ever again! But what flavour is the best? 

Here's my suggested sperm shake flavour ranking:

1. Carribean Pineapple - sweet and gently aromatic. Just have a glass of pineapple juice half an hour in advance and savour the difference!

2. A refreshing note of Minimalist Mint - an all-time favourite. Fresh mint tea comes (cums?) in handy here.

3. For an extra zing - Japanese Wasabi but not mixed with sushi as it will bring about a totally different flavour. Rather have a bowl of chazuke.

4. Romantic Rose from the Middle East - fragrant and exquisite scent that you can achieve with some rose petal tea.

5. Hearty and robust Wild Raspberry - for best results have a bowl of fresh wild raspberries as commercially grown ones are less flavourful.

6. Exotic Thai Sweet Chillie - sweet and spicy. Have a bowl of Thai Green Curry with its aromas of holy basil, kaffir lime leaves, lemon grass and coconut milk.

7. Zesty Indonesian Clove - deliciously decadent and tropical. The clove-scented Gudang Garam cigarettes leave the sweet fragrance on your lips but it does not travel to the nether regions. For best results I would just infuse a glass of hot water with cloves.

8. Chinese Jasmine - the intense aroma has its steady following. A nice cup of jasmine-flavoured green tea will do the trick here.

9. Sweet Cinnamon - sweet, homely and savoury. A nice cinnamon roll will get you there.

There actually is a number of ways to boost your sexual drive with food. I have collected some free tips about aphrodisiac food. Please have a read and let me know what you think!

The Most Tasteful Nude Video Ever

Sexy and chaste at the same time: Mylène Farmer in L'Amour N'Est Rien. A kind of striptease you can watch with your mother without embarrassing yourself. " La vie est bien, elle est de miele ! "



Not that it's important, but Mylène is 46 in this video.

Mylène became huge in Russia in the early 90s and in 2006 L'Amour N'Est Rien was the most played song on Russian radio stations. Her never-ending appeal to the Russian heart is complex and has many levels.

1) She's a hypersensitive introvert who managed to externalise her dominant function to to turn her inner strength outward. Exactly what the Russian national anima is like.

2) Most generations of Russians were brought up on French movies (we didn't really have American ones), so the aesthetics appeals to us in a very direct familiar way.

3) Last but not least, she's a brilliant package: the lyrics, the melodies, the looks, the sartorial taste, the tasteful sexiness that Russians can respect so much.

She manages to reach the innermost of my heart and soul like only a few others can: Nakajima Miyuki, Tori Amos and Kate Bush, as well as earlier Alla Pugacheva, all in a very Jungian way being the personification of their respective nations' mass consciousness anima, a sort of the archetypical mother figure, a national Virgin Mary.

Pet Peeves (constantly updated)

This may be about the only place where I let negativity run amok. So, there you go!

- people who invite you over for dinner/chat only to seat everyone in front of TV to watch some drivel (I've even seen hosts falling asleep right there in front of their guests);

- celebrity endorsements - but of course you will endorse a candy bar made out of your own grandmother for ENOUGH MONEY! Does not mean I have to buy it, now does it?

- petty bourgeois who gleefully swallow the crap they are fed on cable news channels/tabloids for a gospel and use it as conversation pieces;

- low-riding jeans on individuals with short legs and no asses to speak of showing off their faded undies - huge YUCK! Do you own a mirror? Even "cooler": jean's crotch hanging somewhere between the knees - makes you like like a dwarf who shat in his pants.

- clothes with huge designer logos on them. 'Coz how otherwise people would know that you were stupid enough to pay 200 Euros for this plain white cotton T-shirt!

- designer logos showing on the elastic band parts of underwear, just above the jeans - well 2 magic words Tommy Hilfiger or Paul Lauren are NOT going to make your scrawny, pudgy or otherwise ungainly ass look good.

-

- organized religion of any kind - keeping usurped monopoly on interpreting God, adding mind-controlling money-making bells and whistles to the most spiritual experience around;

- people who think dates are actually open sex invitations;

- supermarket chains peddling food produced under dubious standards as organic at 3 times the normal price and branding it as a "logical choice for the health-minded";

- middle class individuals trying to pass for high class by way of affected 'dainty' manners and fade-influenced choice of overpriced gourmet food and brand clothing - the non-U types sitting on doilies and wiping their runny noses with serviettes;

- Ugg Boots - how can they ever possibly look good on anyone? They were invented by the Aborigines who at the time had no better hide-processing or sewing techniques. Uggly Boots, more like it;

What Is The Fashion Industry Trying To Tell Us?

The message is: a few genetically lucky individuals whose main pastime is gymming and skin care, with help of an army of dedicated hair-dressers, make-up artists and stylists can occasionally look extremely good on Photoshop-enhanced photos made with the use of special lighting and hi-tech light screens.

Unfortunately, some take it for a call to make reality to live up to it. More power!

Watch Your Lines! (in Russian)

Говорят, у Веры Инбер были такие строки:

"Ой, ты гой еси царь батюшка,
Сруби лихую голову!"

А в ответной эпиграмме не то Маяковский, не то Сельвинский (последний, кажется, был в нее влюблен) написал:

Ах, у Инбер, ах, у Инбер
Что за челка, что за лоб!
Все смотрел бы, все смотрел бы
На нее б!

***

СОЗВУЧИЯ

Тих у ясеня голос, но стоит прислушаться, глядь –
Пропись дивная, яркая вязь на листах проступает
И глаголы исконные требует употреблять,
Без которых зачахла б словесности роща густая.

На цветущем репье – бледно-сизый мазок мотылька.
Живописец, что там, наверху, его выбрал любовно.
И обоз рано утром, в тумане под цвет молока
Пробираясь неспешно, трусит по дороге неровной.

Начинает вести деревенскую летопись день.
На медвяных страницах я – будто в своей колыбели.
Петуху я свой голос отдам – и, взлетев на плетень,
Пусть он песни орёт гулевые – быть жаркой неделе!

Breathtaking: Maya Plisetskaya dancing Bolero

One of the salient pieces of music of the 20th century, Ravel's Bolero put into flesh by Maya Plissetskya and Maurice Béjart.

Notice how, along with the music going crescendo, Maya's eyes, face and body language change from a deadpan ice-statue-like slow growth of self-awareness to a festive, celebratory indulgence to an awe-inspiring demonic passion.

I saw this on TV when I was 12 and I still do not know of any dance more sublime, beautiful and of such an intensly orgasmic quality.

Part I


Part II

The End Of Jeff Stryker

Where do porn stars retire to? Well, this is where one of our idols of the yesteryear has ended up (notice the word "sophisticated"): http://www.jeff-stryker.com/sophisticatedshowing.html - as if the largest selling dildo in history hadn't been enough.

To add insult to injury, there's also a theme tune to this public disgrace: http://www.jeff-stryker.com/Pooper.mp3

Il Messaje Primer

This has been in the pipeline for quite a while now - putting all my unclassifiable ideas, bitchy observations and just random rants out there online. Finally, as a part of my 2008 Resolutions Bill, this has come true.

Sadly, all my preferred blog addresses were taken - mostly by content-deficient no-goodniks with last entries dating back to October 2003 - including but not limited to:

blog
bloggest
bloggityblog
bloggitybloggityblog
bloggitybloggityblog
blogorama
blogomatic
blogotron
blogalooza
blogolicious
blogiferous

so I had to settle for the humble blogomanic. So here's to a good start!

By the way, the title of this blog is a take-off on the title of a novel by Jerome K Jerome.

Beijing
- Grandeur, Rusticity & Russiatown

Great
Wall In Autumn Hues

Pingyao
- A Feel Of The Days Long Gone By

Xi'an
- Terracotta Army, Hot Springs & Mosques

Nanjing
- The Swanky Capital Of South

Yangzhou
- The Treasure Box Garden

Suzhou
- The Silk Capital Of China

Tongli
- The Water Village

Tunxi
- Breezy Gateway to Huangshan

Huangshan
- Mountain Range From A Classical Chinese Poem

Hongcun
- Water Buffalo Shaped Village

Shanghai
- Carnival Of Life

Royal
Tour of Morocco: Casablanca, Rabat, Tangier, Fez, Marrakesh, Ouarzazate,
Essaouira

Austro-Hungary
Road Trip (Budapest to the Adriatic via Slovenia and Austria)

Grand
Red Foilage Tour Of China: Beijing, Pingyao, Xi'an, Nanjing, Shanghai,
Yangzhou, Suzhou, Tongli, Hongcun, Huangshan

Canada
& US Road Trip: Nouvelle France & New England, Quebec, Ontreal, Toronto,
Nova Scotia, Acadia, Bar Harbor, Niagara Falls

Drivin'
USA: New York City + 9600 KM Through The Southwest

Amsterdam
Without Prejudice

Easter
In The Valley Of The French Kings: Vallée de la Loire: Orleans, Angers,
Amboise

Argentina
Has It All: 6,500 KM By Car From The Ocean To The Andes And Back

Alpine
Adventure: Vienna to Munich via the Adriatic

A
Day In Utrecht

Slow
Autumn In Russia: Moscow and Kursk

American
Weekend In Europe: Do Nine Countries In Four Days

Normandy
- Brittany - Jersey

In
The Land of Whimsy: Prague and Karlovy Vary

Toronto
- Hip And Laid-Back

Ottawa
- A Marriage Of Convenience

Montreal
- Straddling The Anglo-Gallic Watershed

Ode
to Canada The Beautiful

Quebec
- The Most European City In North America

Quebec's
Tipping Point: Change Becomes Unstoppable

Down
The St. Lawrence - Quebec Countryside

Acadia,
New Brunswick

Nova
Scotia - Canada's Ocean Playground

America's
Love Affair With The Automobile

Maine:
Acadia N.P. & Asticou Azalea Garden

Amsterdam,
NY

Niagara
Falls - Big American Disappointment

Do
You Really Know American Food?

Niagara-on-the-Lake
- Possibly The Twee'est Town On Earth

Canadian
Wine

A
Day In Utrecht

Lille
- Boulogne-sur-Mer - Brouwershaven

Normandy
- Brittany - Jersey: La Connection Anglo-Francaise

Lille
- The Nearest Bit Of France

Mers-les-Bains
- A Bourgeois Seaside Resort Par Excellence

Dieppe
- Maps, Ivory And Scallops

Fécamp
- Liqueur, Seafood & Norman Vestiges

The
Limestone Arches Of Étretat

Rouen
- The Duck, The Pots & The Cathedral

Richard
the Lionheart's Château Gaillard

Monet's
Japanese Garden in Giverny

Honfleur
- A Picture-Perfect Port

Mont
St.Michel - The Marvel Abbey

Côte
Emeraude - Brittany's Emerald Coast

St.
Malo - The Granite Jewel of Brittany

Dinard
& St. Lunaire - Hangouts Of The Rich

Jersey
- The Bulwark Of Englishness

Keukenhof
2008 - Floral Letdown Of The Year

Alpine
Adventure: Austria-Italy-Bavaria 2007

Drivin'
USA: New York City and the Southwest

Summer
in Alsace

Autumn
In Russia 2006

Royal
Tour Of Morocco

El
Norte Argentino 2006

Talampaya
& The Cuyo

Salta
& The Andes

Iguazu
Falls And Misiones

Buenos
Aires - More Old World Than The Old World Itself

In
The Land Of Whimsy: Prague and Karlovy Vary

Austro-Hungary
2006 - In The Wake Of A Bygone Realm

Graz
- The Northernmost Italian Renessaiance City

Slovenia
- Triglav, Ljubljana, Bled & the Adriatic

Free
Port Trieste and Miramare Palace

Hungarian
Countryside - Wine, Hot Springs & Palaces

Budapest
- Figaro, Turkish Baths & Synagogue

Easter
In The Loire Valley - France 2006

***